


An unusual valentine

by vermicious_knid



Series: In no sense civilized [4]
Category: Gremlins (Movies)
Genre: F/M, IN LOVE????, ITS FINALLY HERE, no it can't be, the continuation of my favorite series, with your favorite lizard-monkeys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 23:16:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21289802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vermicious_knid/pseuds/vermicious_knid
Relationships: Brain Lebronsky/Kaitlin
Series: In no sense civilized [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1284473
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	An unusual valentine

When she came to work that fateful February morning, could Kaitlin have imagined how the rest of the day would turn out, she would probably have stayed at home or laughed in sheer disbelief.

It was valentines day – nothing special about that, except that the guy she’d been seeing – Mark, the lawyer from downtown who she thought was actually kinda decent turned out to be not so decent and now she had a whole new dress and matching shoes that would not be displayed in her gorgeous self at a fancy restaurant as planned.

She had made the mistake in telling her boss about this little unfortunate slight the day before.

Something Kaitlin realized in retrospect was a reckless and even dangerous thing to do.

Not, as it turns out, that he went out of his way to find Mark the lawyer so he could gleefully torture him out of revenge (actually, that was not such a bad idea) but instead, he did something that actually managed to shock her stupid.

He did something _nice._

* * *

Right up until she opened the door to his office, everything was normal. The gremlins were hard at work, as they never slept – and she breezed through their tornado like it was just a nice summer breeze.

After the first year of working as Mr. Brain Lebronsky’s assistant, hardly anything fazed her anymore.

That is, until she opened his door and saw someone else sitting in his usual too-large revolving chair. The chair was as per usual not facing the desk but the array of windows that overlooked Manhattan, lined with a thick layeer of UV-resistant dark glass so that no bright lights shone through.

What wasn’t usual was the fact that she could see a long pair of lean human legs poking out, one foot casually propped over the other, clad in bright blue business slacks and black leather shoes.

Instantly wary, and rightly so, Kaitlin put a hand on her pink colt revolver that was carefully strapped on her thigh at all times.

”Sir? Do you have a meeting with Mr. Lebronsky this morning? ” she asked loudly, wanting to make it clear that she wasn’t some meek little secretary that could spook easily.

She heard a familiar, deep chuckle in response. The chair turned towards her and she was again finding herself confounded. For in the chair sat seemingly no other than-

”Mr. Klamp? ”

It looked like him alright. But as soon as he smiled she realized that something else was going on here. Because the Klamp that she knew was a perfectly normal (!?) human being, with normal, straight teeth.

This Klamp had teeth as sharp as needles – and eyes that looked too yellow and bright to be considered even close to normal. But it wasn’t until he steepled his fingers together that she began truly questioning the fabric of reality, because that was something her own boss did quite often.

”Why Kaitlin! It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you like this – why, its almost become a treasured novelty in its own right!”

Eyes still wide, Kaitlin fell backwards into the conveniently positioned guest chair.

”Oh my god.”

The Klamp-lookalike with demonlike features smiled at her – thankfully, not a full-toothed grin.

”Oh no, dear. Doctor Catheter is the one you should be thanking.”

”Thanking...” She wheezed.

Brain nodded eagerly, cheerfully carrying on.

”You see, he was a very gifted fellow before his untimely demise. So many potions and tricks up his sleeve, and so many interesting incriminating files on his computer…” Brain trailed off, staring off into space with a malicious expression on his now human face.

”But how – where!?”

He pointed at her like she had just said the very thing, and got up from his seat to walk around the desk.

”Ah, I knew you would have questions. Humans have those every so often. Well, the good doctor collected vials – blood of every known employee at the time, quite fascinating. And he gladly experimented on anyone close enough to touch, as a man of science has every right to exploit. Do you see where I’m going with this?”

Kaitlin shook her head but did not speak, still in a state somewhere between morbid curiosity and the abstract landscape of profound shock. He was actually tall enough now to rifle through the catalogue drawers without the aid of a ladder, which he did now as he casually explained his new appearance.

A gremlin shuffled in and, with a cat-strangling grunt, offered a small teacup to him full of steaming liquid. Without looking, Brain took it and took a small, polite sip.

”Well, it is very interesting. For some reason or other, I wont speculate or bore you to tears – he had a vast collection of one man’s DNA in particular. And then, to make matters even more interesting, he kept special vials of this with a concoction of something similar that initially sprouted my vast and complicated intellect. I had a hunch that this mixture would cause a metamorphosis, and curious to see what it would do I first tested it on a willing subject who turned into the specimen of creature you see before you now. The effect lasted for four hours, and that was only from 20 milligrams. A dose I am currently sticking to myself.”

”Why?” she asked, because it was a very good question at this point. Brain looked at her for a moment through half-lidded eyes over the rim of his cup in silence.

”Oh, for a number of reasons I’m sure you can figure out. ”

”Help me out?”

Brain rolled his yellow eyes – which was a startling look on a human face.

”For one thing, it will make meetings with new clients easier – there won’t be any more cause of heart failure on their part. And I can finally make apperances at the country club during the day without worrying about any pesky sunburn. And yes, that’s right – will 8 o clock tonight suffice? I suspect my last meeting today will run a little late you see.”

”8 o clock? What’s happening at 8 o clock?”

”Our dinner date, of course. I assume you still have your heart set on the Ritz?”

”You are going to be my...valentine?”

Brain had sat down again by his desk, and looked up at her with a worrying smile as he annihilated another pen in the electric sharpener.

”I don’t see a problem with it, do you?”

Kaitlin opened her mouth to say something, anything to make this situation more normal, more...reasonable. But the more she tried, the less she found that she could say to actually make him see how bad of an idea it was.

Finally realizing that it was a futile endeavor, she closed her mouth and attempted a smile.

”No, of course. 8 o clock will be...fine.”

* * *

There were many, many reasons why this was a crazy idea. One of them being the fact that even though Brain now had a human costume, he was still the same old gremlin underneath – in mind and in genes. He was just like any polite serpentine psychopath, and there was no telling what he would do in any normal setting outside the office.

But, still, at least now Kaitlin got to dress up nice and go out like she had planned.

Her dress was made of red velvet, hugging her body comfortably in all the right places – though not too tightly, so she didn’t look like a streetwalker. Red was a favorite color of hers, and she wore it often to the office. It made her think of important political figures, royalty and bloodshed.

Wait, bloodshed?

Yep, it was official. The little green bastards were finally starting to rub off on her.

* * *

The restaurant at the Ritz was crowded when she arrived ten minutes before 8, wanting to arrive early in case the coroner had already shown up. Brain liked to be armed at all times, and she wouldn’t put it past him to utilize them in case he got bored.

To her relief however, everything appeared as normal and nobody was dead (yet). Letting out a breath she was unaware of holding in, she approached the meitre’d and asked to be seated at their table.

”Ah, yes! Monsieur Lebronsky! Very nice gentleman, called earlier and asked if we served rodents – ha! Very funny man, your husband.” He said, and Kaitlin’s face paled considerably as she started to correct his (grave) mistake.

”Oh, ah – he’s not my-” she began, but didn’t get to finish as the Meitre’d snapped his fingers in the air and called out to a server nearby.

”Charlie! Come seat the mademoiselle at her assigned table, tout suit! ”

In a way, she was grateful to not have to explain it. She didn’t even know if she could at this point.

Ten minutes later, Brain arrived – dressed in an aqua-teal green suit, wearing shaded glasses that concealed the yellow in his eyes, but not the serpentine slits in them.

When he spotted her he smiled with closed lips, and oh god. He actually didn’t look halfbad – but Kaitlin didn’t dare admit that to herself, or to anybody else.

He could almost be mistaken for a human at that moment, but then a moment later a couple at a nearby table had their picture taken, using a flash-camera. Brain froze on the spot, lips thinning – revealing too-sharp teeth as he hissed quietly.

The couple gave him a funny look, and he continued on his way to their table without any more fuss.

But during the entire dinner, he would subtly turn and look behind him at that same couple – eyes tracking their every move.

* * *

Again, she was amazed. In exception to a few bizarre instances (chewing on the tablecloth and attempting to strangle a chichitzu) things had been going well. The food was delicious, and even more so was the wine.

It was strange to see him drink water, and not start to molt or multiply as a consequence.

”I have to admit, I didn’t expect this to actually be...” she started, as Brain refilled their glasses.

”Pleasant? Dreamy?”

”I wouldn’t use those words….”

Brain chuckled darkly and the sound was disturbing enough that several people nearby started to stare.

”….I was going to say decent, entertaining.” she said, and Brain set down the wine bottle with a loud thump as he glared at her over the table.

”_Decent?_ Is it because we haven’t danced yet?”

Her eyes widened as she realized what was about to happen.

”Oh no, we don’t have to do that-”

But Brain had already risen from the table, walking – no, prowling towards her as he rubbed his hands together like the villain that he was.

”_Oh yes_, come on now. Don’t tell me you have two left feet – I have seen you dodging bullets before, you are quite agile. ”

”No really, I - ”

He held out his hand in reply, waiting patiently for her to take it.

”I insist. Or are you perhaps...afraid?”

Suddenly she met his eyes with a rising fury. Nobody called her a coward! She threw her dinner napkin at the table and stood up quickly to face him.

”Certainly not!”

”Then prove it.”

* * *

Katilin had decided not to question it anymore, and just accept it for what it was. She was dancing with her semi-human boss on a semi-date at the ritz, and there was nothing questionable about that.

A jazz band was playing covers on old 50’s love ballads, and several couples had gotten up on the dancefloor.

”You are quite good at his.” she told him, because it was true. But then, whenever had Mr. Lebronsky not been good at pretending to be human? He certainly always talked like one – albeit with a slightly more chaotic temperament.

”Well, hardly rocket science is it?” he said, shrugging.

”Don’t you miss being a...gremlin?”

”I suppose, but then this isn’t permanent either. And it does have its advantages.”

”Such as?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. He raised one of his own, and without any warning, dipped her backwards as Kaitlin held on for dear life.

But her laughter was genuine when he pulled her up.

It only became truly strange at the end of the evening.

They had shared a cab, and Brain decided to walk her to her doorstep. He had told her that the mixture he had taken would wear off within the hour, and that he was going to go back to the office. She didn’t actually know where he lived, or if he had an apartment tucked away somewhere in the same office building.

”Well, thanks again for this – I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually had fun.” Kaitlin said, as they stood in front of the building, the cab lingering on the curb. Since it was late and few people were out and about, Brain had taken off his glasses, showcasing his serpentine eyes. They observed her quietly, in a way that was neither reassuring or calming.

”It was my outmost pleasure, I assure you.” he said, and she shrugged but smiled at the same time.

”Well, see you tomorrow then.”

And here it was – the strangest thing. Because after she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek – just a quick peck really, his pupils dilated to a shocking degree.

”Uh sir? Are you alright?”

Normally quick to respond with a witty word, now her boss seemed to have nothing to say as he leaned against the cab for support.

”Oh, ah yes – of course. Just a dizzy-spell. Nothing to fret about at all. ” he said as he tried (and failed) to find and open the cab door until it finally sprung open.

And as the cab sped off in the night, Kaitlin shrugged and figured that it was just the mixture wearing off.


End file.
